Go figure... I am awesome at relationships that...

...last for 3 minutes. Plenty of practice.

10/28/09: Speeding dating is pretty useless. You know you when you are at a party and you are hitting it off with someone and then your ride is leaving and just comes in and sweeps you away? Its like that. Over and over. Or maybe it is like fake meeting someone in line for the bathroom at a crowded noisy party. It doesn't matter how much you connect, when they walk out of that bathroom door, you don't have anything to say, you just sidestep around them. The context is too weird.

Also, my running joke is that if you put me in a room with 15 ladies and ask me to pick one, obv I pick the LARPer. (yeah, i know, i know) But.... it might work out because you know what isn't useless? Winning grand prizes. Yes. The matchmaking gods granted me a whopping 25 dollar gift certificate to go on a date, awkwardly in the same place as speed dating, with said larp girl.

(aside: before speed dating I told Dan Goat that it was my goal for every girl to pick me as the guy they wanted to go on a date with so that I would win the prize no matter who I picked. Now that I won I have this egotistical fantasy that every girl did in fact pick me. Because there was one girl that was much much prettier than the others. Pretty sure every boy picked her, Dan Goat said he did. So shouldn't she have won? So now maybe I am regretting going for a safety school when I should have shot for an Ivy. I sure hope larp girl never reads this because its pretty shallow. end aside)

Also going on a potentially heartbreaking date this week with what is basically the middle eastern version of dream girl. Way prettier than me, super smart and kind, hot shot degree, real job, her shit together. You know, the kind of girl that wouldn't by rule be out of my league if I had grown up after college but kinda no lie is totally beyond my reach as things are. Maybe I can fake it til I make it or at least make her laugh/ give her a nice time.

Speaking of dream girl, and I only do it in this space because people get really mad about it and I think it is pretty funny that you think I would actually be able to be happier if I could let it go, I have come to the conclusion is that that the internet is the fully stocked fridge of diets. Its pretty terrible that it can be painful for new pictures to be put up on facebook. It makes no sense, and it touchs a place that should be off limits. The amount of connections it takes to get from a photo on social network site to feelings of opportunities loss as metaphor for death is pretty silly.

I have a nest of baby birds somewhere in my basement, or somewhere in my walls. I hear them chirping but can't find them. This is going to make my brother soooooooooooooooooo mad and he is going to get super grumpy and start doing a half-assed job to clean in his rage and yell at me the whole time about how I don't care about life and I should because there are just some things that aren't right.

Still haven't bought a plane ticket for Austin. It's in two weeks and there is no way that I am going to skip it. I just can't get up for it. I don't have a deck, or cards, or any ideas. I don't have a team, and none of my friends are qued. Its pretty lame actually. Where did all the great parts of my life go? I don't play music any more really. The friends I used to party with really aren't into it anymore. Magic cards is gradually feeling like something I used to care about when I was younger. Before this week I had zero girl prospects and to be fair, I kinda still do until I get excited about someone. Its pretty sad that sports is the best thing going.

How much is a normal amount to be self-conscious about your body? what if you are a boy? What if you can still run pretty fast? Who am I impressing anyway? Do i really think more people (as in more than zero) would see me naked if I was marginally more of a specimen? The funny thing is that part of my problem with this is that I don't really have an option about giving up and joining a bridge team. People don't do that anymore. I am trying to find examples of people that do something more than stay at home with wifey and watch cable. Its kind of like trying to find examples of someone who has a job that I want.

Sorry about this post. No more downers for a while, I promise. Lots of good things on the internets lately and I have some ideas. I want to say a little something about that Malcolm Gladwell article in the New Yorker about underdogs and the full court press.