Friday Nightlite Blues

4/11/09: Tonight was the epitome of why this was a bad idea. Tonight would have been awesome if I was just being regular. Lots of places to go. People down for adventure. I randomly saw Ashley and Collin and they had this babe with them that seemed to like me for no apparent reason, hugs included. Steve got suckered into letting people throw a big party at his shop. My brother even worked for me this morning so I had lots of energy. But instead I rode my bike around looking for a scene that doesn't exist, then giving up and coming home early while everyone else is drunk and laughing with their friends. No Fun.

Also, I learned that as no fun as it is to quit alot of things that give you pleasure its even less fun to have a bunch of people give you constant shit about things you didn't even do and then not let up about it. Dan and Andy's new creative way to make sure I am having no fun is to basically just yell at me all the time. It sucks and I'm not even sure if it gives them a laugh either. Also, lies on the internet have already started. Don't listen. I'm not that guy. I will let you know when I do stupid things that are fun. I promise. For instance, I got tricked a while back by a vegan brownie. I got all distracted by dessert and forgot about caffeine. oops.

Today I found out that ChrisD isn't dead. I know for a fact cause I went to his house and saw him. I also learned that everyone except me knows lots and lots about porn. History, characters, techniques, lingo, the whole nine. I felt very prude.

Lately, I have felt very weak, very tired, very lousy. What's the point of all this healthy living if I am still going to feel like crap and be crushingly sad? I at least thought my head would clear up and maybe I would feel athletic, or at least more so. No dice. Oh, and just for Ben I did exercising today. Weights and everything. It sucked so bad. It doesn't make sense to me that I dislike it so much either. In general, I don't mind the things that satellite the feeling of working hard at exercising. Being tired on a bike and pedaling hard? Fine. Competition? Fine. Other kinds of bodily pain? Better than most I think. Lifting weights? So boring and I just want to quit the whole time. That said, I am on a quest to lose a bunch of weight and start to look better naked. Not sure it will help, but its worth a try.