4/20/09: Thought of a new sketch comedy bit today, but not from a dream. Sue got a tiny vegtable chopper as a reward for getting herself into credit card debt, and complained that it was too small for use. I imagine a commercial for a new weight loss company that comes to your house and steals all your kitchenware. They leave your food, but replace your knives and forks with they tiniest "portion control" utensils. Same with bowls, cutting boards, microwaves, etc. Scenes of people looking guilty at the supermarket and then eating with a teaspoon or trying to cut a piece of meat with a tiny exacto knife.
I forget how awesome my life is alot. Today a librarian wanted to be my best friend. She kept trying to talk to me about Curb your Enthusiasm (I was taking out her favorite show, we have the same taste!!!) and wanted to ask my opinion about whether cable was worth it or not (she has it on 3 tvs) and wouldn't let me go but kept apologizing about not having any more bags even though I clearly had my big bag and was fine. And I was a little annoyed, but then I realized that all she deals with all day is the homeless or next-to-homeless, the ultra elderly, and little rugrats who are at the library for the same reason they are total brats: their parents never wanted to be parents and are bad at it. Then I just felt bad for her for just wanting a regular conversation with a customer who was polite, efficient, and didn't want anything from her. Me and my brother talked about this last week in regards to possible fields of employment and how rough it would be to do so many jobs. It came up talking about how miserable our parents always are after work hanging out with ghetto kids all day. But is it any different working in a hospital or a nursing home and being surrounded with so much death and suffering? Or what about being a police officer, a judge, or a lawyer? Is crime a better workplace? Even something like customer service would drive me nuts. I love solving problems but I can't stand solving other people's problems when I feel like its a problem they should fix themselves. Needy people, dramatic people, dull people, they all irk me. On the other hand, I would find it just as unpleasant working in sales, or advertising, or at a casino or insurance company stealing from people all day. It sad enough not having a place in the world yet. But failing at a thought experiment where you make one up? That's pretty pathetic.
[I like how it only takes me a paragraph to go from "I am lucky" to "I am pathetic"]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG_qcud1ShM
We are sort of coming down the home stretch and I need some outside energy to keep things fresh. Please help the cause of No Fun April with suggestions of things I could do that would capture the spirit of the experience. Also, I would like the thank the rain for making my job so easy lately.
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you should have to go to church.
ReplyDeleteor do one of M's workout videos where they yell at you a lot.
ReplyDeletePeople always tell me I have such a great job, but in reality it is the absolute worst/soul-crushing, mind-grating job on the planet for all the reasons you describe (sales, customer service, NEEDY entitled people). Which is why I encourage everyone to keep up the SCAM and take advantage of the only perk available to me, sharing the love.
ReplyDeleteAlso you should absolutely have to go to church.
Or maybe, on the last day, or two days, you're not allowed to talk/communicate.
Also, I want people to know my portion controller was a reward for spending all my actual money (debit) not getting deep in it with the Visa (credit).
ReplyDeletePutting it the way you did makes me seem like a flakey girl who can't handle a budget.