Time tested secrets for capturing the heart of mr. right

5/14/09: A month ago, Andy brought up this thing in conversation called "The Rules" that I had never heard of before. He said it was a system for women to pick up men. I didn't believe that it existed. Boys like girls more than almost anything. Girls don't need a system for getting boys for the same reason drug dealers don't need advertising. The product kinda sells itself.

This being the funniest thing, I take the book out of the library. It has not disappointed. It turns out it is targeted to a particular kind of lady. Namely, those that are batshit crazy about boys and desperate to get married. Its full of lots of good advice like not bringing up baby names on a first date or not wasting your time writing variations of your name combined with his. The strategy is basically playing hard to get but very extreme. No eye contact, never call a man, never talk during a date, etc. etc. Just smile and nod and let boys wonder about how mysterious and great you are. There is also alot of talk about how important it is to read Vogue and Cosmo and all the fashion magazines and how you should never leave the house without make-up, etc.

Besides thinking it is funny that there is a market for books telling girls that they will be more successful at dating if they "have interests" instead of sitting at home thinking about boys, I hope that girls don't actually do this. Or more specifically, I am the king of going on a date with a girl, having an okay time, but leaving the experience thinking she's not that into it (or me, I guess) and then not following it up. I hope these weren't "rules girls" expecting me to chase them. Also, I have been consistently into the same girl for 5 years now, and she introduced herself to me.

Sports: I joined the Standard Tap softball team and dragged my brother along. We had our first game yesterday. I am still awful at baseball. I botched a play in the outfield and hit a weak ground ball. But in my other at bat I had my most successful plate appearance ever due to a unique co-ed rule: if you take a walk with a girl batting behind you, she gets to walk too. Why would I ever swing at a zero or one strike pitch? It kinda sucked because you don't get to hit and she doesn't either but its pretty awesome finding a way to do better than a home run.

We forget how important balls and strikes are. They are the metagame of baseball. They influence every decision at the plate and in the field. If the ump isn't calling the outside corner, and therefore the pitcher isn't throwing out there, it makes sense to play the hitter to pull. For every inch the strike zone increases, a pitchers willingness to throw a strike falls exponentially, not linearly. Because its not as big of a penalty to get behind in the count.

Remember that famous at bat that Myers had against C.C. Sabathia that set up the "Grand Slam Home Run Shane Victorino"? (Also, I learned today doing blog 'research' that me and my brother made this up, it never happened, he wasn't even calling the game then. Me and Jay just say it so much that is just kind of became real.) What everyone forgets is that C.C. stuck him out earlier in the at-bat. Go back and look at it. http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=3586441 (about :43, its an 0-2 slider, which i guess was called high) or even better, http://crashburnalley.com/?p=219 (the third pitch). I couldn't find the radio call, but Anderson even admits that is was a strike. This is a very different game if that inning ends there. Balls and Strikes.

Making things weird when they don't have to be

5/9/09: Sweet Dreams- I am a dad in my dream. I have a daughter. Trying to be 'cool dad' I start the safe sex talk. Probably too early but I justify. She won't go for the "just to be ready when you are ready" pill so I get her condoms. It becomes an inside joke. Not sure if that is real, if people have inside jokes with parents. But in my dream it makes us both laugh and i guess I am okay at being cool dad. Somehow part of the joke is I get her a new box of condoms as a gag gift for christmas and stuff even though she assures me she hasn't needed them yet. Like I would care. At the end of the dream I have the revelation that if she is gay then I look like a total retard and am worried that I am not being a very supportive and open dad. Pretty sure no one has the guts to come out to dad as he give you condoms. Thanks dreams. Like I don't have enough awkwardness and self-doubt in real life.

Does anyone know the cultural norms behind race and sports jerseys? I was with Sue when I thought of this, but its not exactly her forte. I saw a black guy in a Jayson Werth jersey and it struck me as weird. Its not like I think black guys shouldn't wear white guy uniforms (obviously white guys where black guy jerserys all the time, but that is because lots of start athletes are black) its just that Werth is kind of a vanilla player. So its almost as if you are trying to pick the whitest white guy. If I picked the one black hockey player and wore his jersey, or the one Hawian basketball player or whatever, then I would certainly partially be cheerleading his race as well as the player. If there are no rules and I am just being silly about one of the few areas in which we are completely over it, just let me know I guess but until then any black guy in a Jayson Werth jersey is probably saying, "that's my white boy."

Thanks to Rob, I have been totally geeking out about advancednflstats.com. Its pure economics in a way that stuff on the financial pages can never be because of culture, politics, rackets, inside information, etc. Andy has been talking about being a little worried about taking statistics. My new advice to him is to find a blog about something he likes alot that is written like this one. It forces you to understand what a z value is when you want to understand a smart argument written by a smart person about a cool topic. Its such a powerful tool. Makes me wish I was back in school.

Movies and Market Zen

5/4/09: It so strange to me how different the life experiences of my brother and I are considering how much of our lives we have spent under the same roof. He ran out of movies to download so he looking on top 100 movies of all time lists and getting those (which I am pretty happy about, I will write a post soon about how the market approximates an objective evaluation of art) and yesterday he was downloading a movie and said, "Man, this movie looks so awesome." I guess you can see the movie in fast forward or whatever in a small screen as it loads or whatever. So I ask him what he is stealing, and he says, "uh, what's it called?, uh, Blade Runner." Then we talked about how handsome Harrison Ford was back in the day, or maybe mostly I did, but he was polite enough not to give me any shit about what I am sure he thought was pretty gay.

Some fast movie reviews:
Mad Dog and Glory: No one has seen this M. Scorsese blank even though it has a hundred movie stars that we all like such as DeNiro, B. Murray, Uma, etc. It is a vanilla movie with great acting, which I like better than the reverse.

The Ten: This movie could have been soooo much better. Its right up my alley sense of humor wise, but it was just a little too silly to become a classic. But I like movies with no point, I like movies with Ms. Ryder, and I like movies that are irreverent. Paul Rudd didn't even ruin it but I really do dislike him. Also, I don't know who casted the movie, but they have excellent taste in women. Girl from Rounders? Famke with the legs and legs and legs? Not even allowed to like her because every other boy thinks she is the bees knees Alba? Winny? Check, check, check and checkmate.

Choke: The "fight club twist" in this movie is so bad. Its also not the kind of movie that needs a twist, it isn't as if there is any built up tension to release or questions the audience cares about. I am the target audience for this kind of movie (probably right? slacker who doesn't give a fuck about the rules, with lots of sex scenes, and self hatred mixed in, plus a critique of medicine and therapy) and I am telling you to not waste your time.

Josh B is moving out to germantown or mt. airy or somewhere. I asked him why all the way out there and he told me that he went on the Internet, typed in a price and the word "deck" and that that was the closest residence available. I didn't realize it at the time, but this is a very sophisticated and I guess "zen" strategy for being happy in life. Just let the market sweep you where it will. It is so simple and free of moral judgements or disappointment. This is what I want, these are the resources I have, this is what is out there. 1,2,3. It also frees you from ever being "stuck" because there is always an equilibrium to rebalance, a new place where the things would be more efficient, a new job or house or friend living somewhere new. Part of being stuck is our tendency to hold on to things, to become attached. And then right out from under us, those things change because nothing is permanent and then we get an uneasy feeling. But if we never held on in the first place, we would only ever experience fresh, perfect, fleeting, moments of things.