4/12/09: Sweet Dream: I dreamt that I started a company (law firm maybe) whose primary business was setting up arrangements with people to hold their money for them before Medicare came to seize their assets. I'm pretty sure this is illegal but in my dream I figured out a way to get away with it using shell contracts within other contracts and was a total business hotshot. Its funny how often my dreams are actual an productive intellectual space. I had a dream last month about writing a complicated equation to determine the position of a projectile using multiple measurements each with its own degree of certainty relative to the proximity to the object in question which required weighing the importance of some measurements more than others. If that is what I dream about, I probably need something to do with my days.
Today was Easter dinner with the family, who were surprisingly cool about No Fun April, probably because I had warmed them up with years of veganism, which they were total dicks about. I probably cheated alot anyway, my mom probably puts butter in things just for kicks. My cousin is preggers, so that was a convenient thing to take up conversation time and my bro bailed early so I didn't look bad leaving too. Also, the state of PA owes me money!! This is hilarious and awesome especially since I don't pay any taxes considering my zero income. I stole baseball gear from the 'rents as well because I think I am going to have a baseball game for my birthday. Seems like a good way to force some sports into my life. Are people going to really not come to my birthday party because they hate sports that much?
My dad told me a joke. A drunk redneck stumbles into a lesbian bar, where he orders a drink and asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blond joke. A patron at the bar gives him a stern tap on the shoulder and informs him that the bartender is a black belt in karate, the bouncer is an Olympic wrestling champion, the girl playing pool is a marine, her girlfriend just got out of jail, and she herself is a body builder. Considering his state, she also points out that they all happen to be blond. Then she asks him, "Do you still want to tell a blond joke?" His reply: "Well, not anymore if I have to explain it five times!" Btw, your welcome. This might be a new section too, jokes from my dad.
Sports: Did anyone see Ryan Howard foul off pitches today? It made me very happy. In one of the at bats he struck out and I didn't even care. The kind of game that happened today, where we fall behind but predictably catch up is so fun to watch and its going to happen more if we can eat up pitches and get that extra inning or two against middle relief. A good sign in a world of Cole Hamel's injuries/fatigue.
No Fun things lined up for this week: giving blood (i know, i know, i learned that you can get paid for it though so maybe it will work out me being lazy and all), hiring a contractor to fix my back door, new resume, paying car insurance.
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1. I'll bet you're remembering more dreams cause you're not drinking.
ReplyDelete2. I had a dream that Pittsburgh and I were at a party salivating over this straight boy named Ryan Howard (no relation). For some reason totally unrelated to baseball, he had his own name printed on his shirt. He caught us staring and saying naughty things about him and crossed the room to confront us. He said to Pittsburgh, "Is there something you wanted to say to me?" all rolling up his sleeves and shit. Suddenly, I had a stroke of genius that hadn't occurred to either of us. I remembered where I'd heard the name Ryan Howard before! "We were just talking about the Phils because we saw your shirt," I said. "Oh," he said, "right, Ryan Howard from the Phillies! I never even noticed we had the same name." Oh, dreams.
1. I thought this was going to about the Godfather 2.
ReplyDelete2. Baseball Birthday sounds so fun, even if I'm (surprisingly) terrible at baseball.
Godfather talk already happened, fran said I was the best at understanding movies. My brother is so so so excited about baseball, we played a little in park. He is retarded good at baseball. He hit the ball all the way across the park and over the fence. Miracle it didnt hit a car.
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